It has been a long time since i blogged, and now that i could spare some time finally there is only one thing that i have been working on from a long time. Yes the secret recipe to strike the balance between the three roles that i have been playing. Frankly i saluted all the mothers for doing the stupendous work of bringing up kids, i could have never understood this unless i would have experienced it myself first hand. Every morning i wake up and promise myself a list of to dos to be finished before i hit bed at night, unfortunately 1/4 of my list is never visited and i am already in my slumber.
The problem with all this is that i want to do all this at free will, you may call it expecting too much from oneself, but the truth is that 24 hours of the day aren’t even close to enough. There is no one to keep watch one me if i am doing the job or not, it is i who want to do all that. If my kid isn’t well i want to make sure that i don’t leave her side until she is feels better, i cannot concentrate on other job during that entire period. It is these starting couple of years that my kid needs me the most after this she won’t be needing that special care from me, so i want to do my best when it is most expected out of me.
But in all this somewhere i have lost my personal self, not getting enough time for myself lead to extreme mental stress, and there was no getting away. Being a working woman i cannot turn my face from my responsibilities at office, and when both fronts needed my attention, hell broke on me and i was devastated to see myself failing at both places. It is when i decided to quit my job and become a full time mother/housewife, i don’t know what consequences it will bring but i feel so much at peace now. I can take care of my baby, my husband and my home all day long without worrying about running time to achieve the deadline.
Sometimes to give our best we have to make selections at things we would take on at a time, before having the baby i told my husband that i won’t quit my job no matter what. I thought my job keeps me sane, basically because of busyness, less free time u have less devilish u think. But recently my job was making me crazy, i could not let people think that i was incompetent, i was pushing hard to meet the deadlines, i never felt myself in more embarrassing situation. I had lost my creativity my charm and everything i worked like a machine and still people looked at me with pity as if i was this weak human being.
It was not easy to accept the fact that after having worked for so long i was finally job free and did not have to get up early following morning and rush to office. It is a big risk that i took, I don’t know if i would ever regret it but as of now i am at serenity knowing that my kid is healthy and i can be with her for as long as she needs.
Originally posted 2013-12-16 03:16:33. Republished by Blog Post Promoter